101 Ways to die in Harry Potter
by MagicParrot36
Summary: 101 ways to die in the Harry Potter universe. From Barny to urban legends. SORRY ON TEMPORARY HIATUS DUE TO PERSONAL PROBLEMS.
1. Name Calling

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter if I did you would never had heard of it.

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1\. Name Calling

Snape was thundering down the halls of Hogwarts towards the headmasters office. He was angry, no he was furious. How dare that Potter brat call him a vampire sure he was but how dare he. Then he had the nerve to call him the half blood bastard.

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Draco wanted blood. Potter just walked in to potions class and said that he was a whore and that I must have the dick of a pixie. Father would hear about this.

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Voldemort was about ready to just give up his plans and march into Hogwarts himself and kill Potter now.

He just got a letter from Potter saying that his mom was a filthy blood trator (he kinda had to agree with him on that) and that he was a dumbass half-blood that couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. there would be blood.

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Harry was walking beside the Great lake relaxing, he had a good day though thinking about it he probably shouldn't have tried to piss off all of his enemies but hey they couldn't kill him when he was in Hogwarts.

He saw a cool looking gold rock and picked it up. He then felt a familiar feeling of a tug at his navel and was surrounded by his enemies.

He said to them "hi how are youuuuuuuu, fuck"

At the same time the three yelled.

"Avada Kedavra"

"Sectumsempra"

"Bombarda"

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The resulting explosion left a crater where Little Haggleltown once stood that baffled scientists all over England

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Moral of the story don't be a idiot like Harry.

 **AN thank you for reading my first fanfiction and please leave a review saying if you thought it was good or bad.**

 **Also tell me some ideas for ways for people to die. It can be any thing I have a Barny chapter later so anything, just say who and how.**


	2. Road Trip

2\. Road Trip

 **Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter or SpongeBob.**

Harry was ecstatic to be able to go to the Weasley's for at least half of the summer. Mr. Weasley said to pack what he needed and come down. So Harry packed some of has baggy clothes, hedwig's cage, and couple of books.

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After they had flooed over to the Burrow, Molly gave him him a suffocating hug and asked him how the Dursleys had been treating him and then said he needed more food.

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At dinner Mr. Weasley said tomorrow they would go on a road trip in their new van. Seeing the look on harry's face he said "don't worry it can't fly" he then added afterward "so get to bed and get reasted and tomorrow road trip."

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Road road road, on the road, road road road, I see stuff going by, road road road. Harry was losing his mind and he was thinking about what Sirius's gift to him on his birthday and considering it.

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Flashback

On Harry's birthday he was laying in his bed wondering if his aunt and uncle even remembered that it was his birthday. That is when a black, scruffy, dirty looking owl came into his room. The owl had two things a letter and a small package rapped in brown paper. he decided to open the letter first it read

Hey Harry it's me snuffles here.

how are you doing, and how are the dursleys treating you.

open your gift--

Harry opened his gift it was something that looked like a small pocket knife.

\--how do you like it.

point it away from you and say open then flick it.

enjoy

-Snuffles

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Harry was so ecstatic he couldn't wait to try it. He stood up pointed it away from him said open and flicked it And out came a magnificent katakana with dragons ingrained on each side. sadly when he opened it it went through the wall and a water pipe.

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580 bottles of beer on the wall take it down pass it around 579 bottles of beer on the wall. At that moment Harry decided he loved the Japanese for inventing Seppuku.

 **AN once again thank you if you favorited or fallowed review time**.

Fugacity7 yes that would be funny but i wanted Harry to be punished someway.

 **Now it is 11 P.M. and I am going to go read some fanfiction and eat pop tarts till 3 in the morning. Because nothing better to do.**


	3. Barney The Dinosaur

3\. Barney the dinosaur

 **AN Hey I said I would do one so here it is.**

The Minister was thinking of what to do with Snake Face when a letter was dropped on his desk. He first checked if it had any spells on it. One wave of the wand later, not one good time to see what it said.

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You know what that guy (or gal) Skaro had a great plan. A plan that is only worthy of a psychopath, time to head down to Azkaban Moldy Shorts is geting a visit.

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The Aurors (three fourths of the entire DMLE) were leading Old Noseless down to his new cell. then they through him into a cell with no windows and magic concrete (just like regular concrete with some pixie dust) and one tele on the far wall from the entrance. When The-Seventy-Some-Year-Old-Virgin saw the cell he yelled

"ha you think any cell can hold me fo--"

that is when we locked him in his cell.

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While in my new cell I decided to turn on the Tele. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

I love you, you love me

We're a happy family

With a great big hug

And a kiss from me to you

Won't you say you love me too?

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 **AN Sorry for the wait but I have to work on a term paper but however I don't want to sooooooooooooooo please follow and review.**

Guest: thank you i'm glad you liked it.

 **PM me if you would like to write a chapter for this story because their will be 101 chapters and I can't do them all.**


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